The Absolute Courting of Akashi Seijuurou
by switmikan74
Summary: In which the Generation of Miracles tries to help their captain in courting the living daylights out of one Furihata Kouki. "We should have told him that courting is different from asking his hand in marriage" "Or that you don't try to stab his parents when they refuse..."
1. Chapter 1

I had this little plot since last year and I had only gotten some free time to type this now. It won't leave me alone, I swear! XD.

Anyway, this is AKAFURI! Don't like the pairing? You're missing out, man! XD.

**TITLE: The Absolute Courting of Akashi Seijuurou**

**GENRE: Romance/Humour**

**PAIRINGs: AkaFuri, KagaKuro, AoSaku, KawaKise (I would put KiseMatsu but it would seem like Kise is the seme, but I really like the sound of it.), MuraMuro, MidoTaka and many more implied. :D**

**Chapter 1: How It Started**

When Furihata Kouki received another bouquet of roses at their basketball practice, he knew he was doomed.

Doomed in the sense that he was not going to get away from one Akashi Seijuurou.

"Another one, Furi-kun?" Kuroko approached the shivering form of his closest friend, Furihata looked at him with teary eyes.

"Kuroko-kun… I'm not going to give my parents any grandchildren anymore…" The whimper of his friend should have made his heart weeps in pity but it instead amuses it.

"That's not true, Furi-kun, Akashi-kun has his ways. He could still give your parents some grandchildren if that's what you really want."

Furihata cried.

"Kuroko…" Kagami scratched his head "I think you're not helping him."

"Eh? Why would I? I'm ordered to help Akashi-kun out with his courting." The blue-haired man gave a small smile.

**OoOoO**

Maybe, things would be much clearer to all of you if he started from the very beginning of it all. You see, a few weeks ago, he had been declared as Akashi's object of affection, love, obsession, possession, dearest, honey bunch, or whatever you could call his adoration over him.

Somehow, he had fallen for him after the few encounters they have. Why? He had no idea.

He means, those few times—fourteen times actually, not that he was counting—they had, he was either shivering in fright or had somehow offered him a towel or a water bottle after some tough matches because he was concerned for the tired looking basketball player or even had just stayed quiet while he was talking to him.

Either way, him getting Akashi's absolute affection is in fact a miracle to everyone but him.

Getting court by him was another absolute story.

It started weeks ago after the kidnapping Kagami fiasco courtesy by the GoM when Akashi's absolute courting began.

He was minding his own business in class when a delivery was made personally by the other four GoM plus Himuro Tatsuya. A delivery that, to his poor heart's taking, would change his plain lifestyle.

"You're officially going to be a Mrs. Akashi, Furihata Kouki" Kise had winked at him as if that was the greatest news to mankind. To Furihata, however, it was the most confusing thought.

"Huh?" Was his only reply to all their blabbers, Midorima only sighs as he clutched the green headband he was carrying with him (It's my lucky item, fools! Laugh at me and die.).

"It means that you're eventually going to die because Akashi is going to make you his and that you can't say no to him because he's absolutely right." Aomine drawled lazily before plopping atop Kuroko's table not caring at all that they had interrupted a class.

"Hey! Baka! Don't you sit on Kuroko's table, bastard!" Kagami screeched, Aomine throws him a smirk.

"Jealous?" Kagami fumed when his little shadow of a boyfriend hold his hand to stop him from landing a fist to that smirking bastard of an ace. "Don't worry, Sakurai would be mad if I did some anomaly behind his back. And I don't want that, do I?"

"Eh? Aominecchi is afraid of Ryocchi?" The blond exclaimed earning a hit on the head by said man.

"Well, you're afraid of that Kasamatsu guy."

"I'm hungry, Murochin." Atsushi Murasakibara whined. Himuro smiled at him and gave him a bar of chocolate.

"Maa, aren't you going off topic? Won't Akashi-kun be mad about that?" The prodigies paled at that thought. Kuroko sighs as he was able to stop them from going anymore farther from their original plan on why they had barged in here.

"W-well… Open it now, Furicchi! You'll _absolutely_ love it." Kise giggled at his own joke earning a blank stare from the others.

Furihata gulped at the present in front of him. Is it a bomb? Is it bloody innards? Is it innards with bomb?

"No. No it is not innards or bomb or innards with bomb, Furi-kun." Kuroko replied to his thought. How did he? Huh?

"Open it now, Mrs. Akashi. You're wasting my time." Aomine yawned. Furihata gulped once more before shakily opening the gift.

What he saw made him gasped in surprise and fascination. It's a brownish red cat with golden eyes, a beautiful choker with ruby encircled its neck. How did he not heard him let out a 'meow' even just once? Maybe he was distracted from all the noise the GoM was making that he didn't hear the little guy meow or cry.

"Wow, a Scottish Fold!" The cat meowed and jumped on his shoulder as he purrs contentedly. Furihata let out a beautiful smile that had Midorima confirming why Akashi is fascinated over this little old boy.

"You sure do love cats, Furi-kun." Kuroko let his cheeks rest on the palm of his hand before giving one of his smallest smiles. It was silent for a few minutes; the teacher had long given up trying to get the attention of his students and kicking out the trespassers when Himuro whispered something in his ears that had him going pale.

And then the small smile turned into a mischievous one.

"But… I wonder, how did Akashi-kun know that?"

Furihata stiffened. Yes, how did Akashi know?

His phone rings. An unknown number.

"H-hello?" He answered.

"I know because I love you, Kouki." Then the unknown number now known as Akashi's number hung up.

Furihata wanted to die.

"Oh, Akachin just called him. He's starting his courting now, Murochin." Murasakibara rests his head atop Himuro's. The beautiful man smiled at him, "Yes, he just did, Atsushi."

Again, Furihata wanted to die.

"Oh. That means we would be stalking him now too, right?" Kise exclaimed excitedly, is he an idiot? Furihata wondered.

"It's not stalking, it's called helping Akashi in his courting." Midorima adjusted his glasses before replying to Takao's message.

'They're just joking, right?' Furihata wondered with nervousness, Iori, his new cat, purred in response to his thought.

**OoOoO**

Furihata should have known he was really serious the first time he had caught the rest of the so called basketball prodigies snooping around in his house at three freaking o'clock in the morning. Even Kuroko was there!

But nooooooo. He didn't because he thought those Rainbow Miracles were just being themselves, he should have known.

And now—he looked behind him—there they are again. Can't they just leave him alone? Dammit!

"What are you looking at, Furi-kun?" Kuroko asked, his heart almost jump out of his chest in shock.

"Kuroko-kun! Don't just appear so suddenly!" He puts his hand over his heart. Kuroko smiled at him in his mysterious way that would often leave him in riddles and makes him want to sleep with one eye open.

"What are you looking at?" He repeated, Furihata glanced again behind him catching Kise taking a picture of his behind. Is Akashi even perverted enough to order him to take a picture of his behind?

"Maybe, he is perverted enough." Kuroko replied to his thoughts.

"Eh? How did you know what I'm thinking about?"

"I had my ways. Anyway, Akashi-kun says that he'll be coming over tomorrow." Furihata's eyes widened.

"Eh, why?"

Kuroko looks at his friend. "Well, they have a two-week school break so he finds it best to visit you plus he was really concerned when you didn't answer his call last night. He thinks it's because you were kidnapped or something."

"Bu-but!"

The shadow smiled at him. "Goodluck, Furi-kun. And I'm sorry if I'm not on your side in this battle, Akashi got some pictures of Kagami and I when we're… doing something…"

Furihata blushed at the implication of Kuroko and Kagami's sex life.

"Oh…" He's really alone then.

**OoOoO**

Akashi Seijuurou is a man of absolute decision and power that even fate bowed to him. He is a man with red hair and heterochromatic pair of eyes of gold and red, simply put: he's is a very handsome young man that just oozes with authority and carries an atmosphere that would leave you simply respecting him.

And now, the very powerful current and former captain of Rakuzan and GoM is walking towards the gym where his beloved is presently practicing.

"Kouki." He called out before ignoring all the stares towards him and proceeded to walk towards the basketball player he had called.

Furihata drops the ball he was about to shoot (You know, Furihata-kun, you have some dangerous potential in you. I only need to harness that little gem and you'll be a big asset to our team.).

"Akashi-san…" Before the brunette could continue, Akashi kissed him on the lips.

**Mission #1: Give him the sweetest thing you could give every time you see each other. **

Well, he knew he had succeeded at his first try. Akashi smirked.

TBC…

Heh, this is just the side of Furicchi's story, sort of a prologue I think. The next chapters will be steps to Akashi's absolute courting with the ridiculous advices and help coming from his former team.

AKAFURI! HELL YEAH! HAHAHHAHA! 3 3 3 3

REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

I'm so sorry for the late update. I was really busy making my Literary Research Paper plus I'm a graduating student and all so it would be really hard to update at a fix date. Anyway, thanks to all the reviews! I didn't expect that this would gain such popularity! Thank you!

Anyway, this is AKAFURI! Don't like the pairing? You're missing out, man! XD.

**TITLE: The Absolute Courting of Akashi Seijuurou**

**GENRE: Romance/Humour**

**PAIRINGs: AkaFuri, KagaKuro, AoSaku, KasaKise (I would put KiseMatsu but it would seem like Kise is the seme, but I really like the sound of it.), MuraMuro, MidoTaka and many more implied. :D**

**Chapter 2: How It Really Started**

Akashi Seijuurou is a very powerful man. His words are absolute, his decision cannot be disobeyed.

The Generation of Miracles knew this. They breathed this fact since they were in their Teiko days, they had always acknowledged this fact not because they wanted to but because they have no choice but to do so.

And now, here they are in his little old mansion—actually, the Akashi's manor is larger than that of the lot where they had played in the Winter Cup , but that's not really important, right?—and talking about trivial things.

Kuroko cleared his throat. This is bad, is he going to finally make his move? mean, he had been stationing some guards outside Seirin. Is he really?

"You have something on your mind, Tetsuya." Akashi's eyes glinted, smile slightly sharpening at the edges.

Kise shivered at the sight. Aomine pretended to sleep.

"Well… I have." Kuroko took a sip from his vanilla shake. "It seems that you have been guarding our school these past few days. What are you up to?"

"Ah. So you've finally caught on, Tetsuya."

Kuroko wanted to point out that seeing extraordinarily handsome men in formal black suit is not really hard to notice, so yes, he had caught on since day one of the stationing of guards in their school.

Akashi calmly stood up and closes the curtains to his living room. The small gesture made the room looks more ominous and dark, like a haunted prison in old dungeons of ancient castles.

The menacing atmosphere was then cut by the uncaring snores of Aomine. Yes, only Aomine could pretend sleeping and end up really falling asleep.

Murasakibara eats his desserts happily, Midorima wonders why he had come at the first place. Akashi ignored it all.

"You see, I have fallen in love." Akashi's words made the Generation of Miracles stop what they were doing. Kuroko tightened his hold on his vanilla shake, Kise paused from stuffing Aomine's nose with tissues, Midorima let go the yaoi manga he was holding (Shut up! This is my lucky item for the day!), Murasakibara almost chokes.

"EHHHHHHH?" Kise shouted startling Aomine who sat right up.

"Yes! Yes, Akashi, you're absolutely right!" He shouted. Is he stupid or something? Wait, he is, never mind then.

Akashi frowned. "Your reactions tells me that it seems me falling in love is impossible."

The others look at each other. "Well…"

"Wait… wait… you're in love?" Aomine's eyes widened before bursting out with laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!"

"You better close that loud mouth of yours, Daiki, or it will never get a chance to be loud ever again." Akashi smiled calmly, moving softly towards the choking in laughter Aomine who was trying to stifle his laughter.

"Okay… okay… I will stop laughing now." Aomine grew silent. Akashi's in love? Pffft. HAHAHAHAHA! Impossible! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Kuroko pursed his lips. "Akashi-kun, if you tell me that you're in love with Kagami, I would tell you now that I know where you live and that I know how to use your scissor on you."

"Akashi is in love with that Bakagami?" Aomine bit his lips before bursting out. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!"

Akashi's eye twitched in irritation. Of all the people in Seirin that they could assume he was in love with, why does it have to be Kagami?

Akashi sighed. "Shut up, Daiki."

The red head then snaps his fingers before a white screen was brought down from the ceiling and a vivid image of a mousy brown haired guy with an atmosphere that loudly screams 'PLAIN' was projected upon it.

Kuroko's eyes widened. "Why do you have a photo of a sleeping Furi-kun?"

No, seriously, of all the photos he could offer to them, why is it a sleeping Furihata who clearly was only wearing a boxer?

"This." The loving—psychotic—smile that the Rakuzan captain shows scared everyone beyond their wits. "This is Furihata Kouki."

"Yes, I know who's that it, Akashi-kun. He's my classmate and teammate after all." His voice was bland but it irks the red head for some reason. For some reason, he felt that Tetsuya's flat voice had just mocked him.

"That's right, Tetsuya. He is your classmate and teammate. I am aware of that, just like how I am aware that he saw you with Kagami last week in the shower of your school when you thought that everyone had gone home already." Akashi felt superior when he saw Kuroko's poker face twitch and blush a little.

"Good for him then. He might learn a thing or two from us." Blue eyes glinted.

"Well, you should save your lesson for yourself then, Tetsuya. He does not need that." Heterochromatic eyes replied.

"Oh? Why, may I ask?" The phantom offers a soft mocking smile.

"Because I'll be teaching him myself personally." The Emperor's smile sharpened.

The rest gulped. Alas, the mischievousness of their shadow-like friend had come at the wrong time.

"I…" Kise hesitated. "I could help you teach him, Akashicchi!"

The wooden stick on Akashi's hands snaps into two. "Pardon, Ryouta. I thought I just heard you offer your help to teach Kouki."

Kise nodded happily, Aomine inched away from him. "Yes, you heard right, Akashicchi. That way, your work will be easier!"

"Ah… Kise…" Midorima looked at the murderous former captain of theirs.

"You want to help me teach Kouki?" Akashi approached the blond. Kise smiled brightly.

"That's what I said."

"Really…"

"Kise-kun, I think you should probably write your will now. Hopefully, you'll include my name as an inheritor to your will." Kuroko looked blankly at the confused player.

"Eh?" Kise looked at the short man in front of him who was holding a scissor.

"Now, why would you think I'll let you help me with teaching Kouki all sorts of form that lovers are doing behind doors or in Tetsuya's case, in public shower stalls?"

Kuroko's eye twitched. "It was a one-time thing, Akashi-kun, a one-time thing"

Akashi ignored him before trying to stab Kise's pretty, pretty face. It missed only by half an inch. Kise cried in relief.

"Uwah! I didn't mean that way! I thought I'll help you teach Kouki to love you!" Kise wailed as he touched his, thankfully, unharmed face.

Murasakibara stopped munching. "Ah. Aka-chin tries to stab Ki-chin because he's jealous."

Everyone looked at him. Did he just figure that out?

"I think Murasakibara-kun should just eat for now or call Himuro-kun for assistance." Kuroko suggested. Funny how he could mock anyone with that flat voice of his.

Murasakibara paused before nodding. Funny how he could take Kuroko's words seriously every single frigging time. I mean seriously? Who would really believe that sexy flat voice of Kuroko? Oh wait, there's the violet haired overgrown child and the red-headed Kagami dancing upon the shadow's dainty hands. Never mind then.

"Be clear with your words then, Ryouta. There'll be no next time for you if I misunderstood you once again." Akashi smiled before snapping his fingers and the slideshow began.

And for the next two hours, Kuroko learnt a million things about his friend, Furihata. The others felt that they know this boy now even better than when they had met him personally.

'Who knew Furi-kun likes me better than everyone in our team.' Kuroko mused.

'Who knew this guy likes Anime better than hentai magazine!' Aomine shook his head, this poor guy is missing out greatly.

'Who knew Furicchi mostly owned red and blue boxers! Where's the fun in that?' Kise pouted.

"Furi-chin… likes the same strawberry pocky that I like, Aka-chin. He's good for you." Murasakibara said.

Midorima raised his brow. "I liked the same tea-flavoured ice cream that you liked, Murasakibara. Am I good for Takao then?"

The violet haired paused before nodding his head. "As long you like the same thing I like, you have my consent."

Kuroko's eyes twinkled. "Oh really? I heard Himuro-kun likes vanilla shake and you also like that too, right, Murasakibara-kun? . I like vanilla shake too. Does that mean, I'm good for Himuro-kun?"

The giant ripped the chips he was holding accidentally. "No. I don't like vanilla shake, anymore. I like chocolate shake now. And if I did like vanilla shake again, I'll crush you, Kuro-chin. Muro-chin is mine."

Kuroko hid a smile. Good, if Murasakibara-kun forbids Himuro-kun from coming to visit Kagami, Kagami will only pay attention to me.

"Anyway, so Akashi-kun is really in love with Furi-kun. What could we do about it?"

What he really likes about Tetsuya is that he is very perceptive. "Well, I like you all to help me court him. I had already told my parents about it and they approve of him already. Mother says he reminds her of when Father was still young so she insisted that he will be my bride then."

"What kind of fucked up mother do you have?" Aomine yawned.

"A mother who just know how to break relationship between teens as dumb as you are, Daiki. She could make little Ryou believes you're cheating on him. Though you don't want that, right? You don't want him to think that you played with him like how he fears you would and then you'll lose him forever." Akashi paused before smirking. "And then your fear of him running to Shouichi Imayoshi will definitely come true."

Aomine stiffened. "I'll… help you, Akashi."

"Good choice, Daiki. Oh, and Ryouta, I advised you that you should just follow my orders for your own sake." Heterochromatic eyes gleamed devilishly. "Shintarou would definitely help me. He's smart enough to accept the bribery I am offering him."

"And what might that be?" Midorima pushes his glasses upward in I'm-so-cool-with-glasses gesture.

"Only the limited edition of the lucky items you will be needing for the next three weeks. I'll say this now, you could not find this anymore in the market. They're a bit expensive, you see. You're rich but these are limited only."

Midorima shook Akashi's hand in a gesture of he'll be now in short term contract with him. They shook hand like a boss.

"And as for Atsushi, you'll help right?"

"Will there be food?"

"There will be food serve by a scarcely dressed Tatsuya."

Murasakibara shook hand with Akashi. "It's a deal then, Aka-chin"

"And don't think you'll get away, Tetsuya." Kuroko paused from his escaped, turning towards them with as much as dignity he pretended to still have. The man had seen him having sex with Kagami, do you think he still have one?

"I have photos of that scoundrel of yours doing you. It's not really pretty if the public saw this."

Kuroko tsked. "The other two got prizes and we got threats, how's that fair, Akashi-kun?"

Aomine seconded. Kise just stayed quiet, afraid that if he supported the two, he'll really get killed.

"Okay then. I got two tickets to France for Daiki, it will be really useful for him in the future. And as for you, what do you want?"

Kuroko smiled softly. "I want to get rid of Himuro-kun."

"I'll crush you, Tetsu-chin."

"I'm kidding." He was not. Aomine knew that Kuroko is not joking around. The guy practically wants to monopolize that Bakagami to himself, he knew. It was the most traumatic event he had seen in his entire life, more traumatic than when Ryou first rejected him (the only one who could reject me is me! Dammit!) but that was another tale to tell.

"Really, Tetsuya, what do you really want?" Akashi asked impatiently.

"I was just wondering if you could give me two sets of silver rings with sapphire and ruby embedded in it."

"Why?"

"For my anniversary with Kagami." So that I could get rid of that stupid cheap ring he had been cherishing.

Aomine inched away from the bluenette when he had felt the same aura that fated day so long ago.

"Damn. Tetsu's crazier than you are, Akashi. I'm starting to think, you learn from this fucktard." Aomine whistled.

"Wh-what about me, Akashicchi?" Kise whimpered at the gaze of his former captain.

"You can have Kasamatsu." Kise's face brightened.

"Okay then. What should I do now that you all agree to help me?"

"You could kidnap him." It's not impossible, Aomine added in his thought.

"…You could eat him up." Well, it's obvious who suggested that. Of course it's Midorima.

"You could crush all those who stood your way in courting him…" A pause. "What's courting, Aka-chin?"

"How the hell did you even get such as hot as that Himuro guy, Murasakibara?" Aomine glared, doesn't this guy know how much effort he had put in courting Ryou? And now he's asking what's courting as if he never done it before.

"…I gave Muro-chin a chocolate… it was on Valentine's day… he was very happy… then he kissed me…then…" Murasakibara's face lazily reddens.

"I don't want to hear your pathetic excuse of a courting!" Aomine bellowed. This guy is testing his patience! He just gave the guy a chocolate and the man was already all over him? It took him all his six months allowance for Ryou to even be all over him.

Aomine realized he was really pathetic. He kicked a wall and sulked.

"They're all useless." Kuroko shook his head and looked at his captain. "How about you blackmail him into dating you."

Akashi looks at him. "You're useless."

"Akashi-kun, you're not going to make your move if you'll listen to their absurd ideas." Satsuki plopped down besides Kise. "What you need is an advice from Shoujo manga expert like me."

Aomine bristled. "Shoujo manga expert my ass! I've followed everything you said to me and all it did was make Ryou awkward with me."

"And now you're dating, Dai-chan, it all still ended pretty well" Satsuki raised her eyebrow.

"Akashi, if you listen to her, she'll make you run around half-naked just to 'seduce' that poor guy you're going to threaten to date you." Aomine said solemnly, face serious as if a bitter memory had just crossed his mind again.

"Oh. So that's why you went hiding in my house for a while." Kuroko realized.

"They never really stop bothering me… they're still everywhere…those creepy girls… those creepy, creepy girls…" Aomine closes his eyes, lips set into a straight line.

"Shut up, Dai-chan. Ryou was blushing when that happened. It means that your form of perverted seduction is working on him too."

"I HAD NEARLY GOTTEN RAPED BY THOSE GIRLS! ARE YOU STUPID, WOMAN?" Aomine snapped.

Akashi frowned. "This is not about how you succeeded in your courting, Daiki. It's about mine. Satsuki."

The pink haired woman stood and snapped her fingers too to get their attention. "Romance between men is not really rare. You all are the living proof of that. But, why are you all so stupid with advices?"

Kise raised his hand.

"No, Kise, 'because when you're in love you became stupid' is not a valid answer."

Kise brought his hand down.

"You all complicate romance on your own. Why don't we go back to the basic?" Satsuki suggested.

"When you helped me, why didn't we ever go back to the basic?" Aomine deadpanned.

"Because you're stupid. Anyway, as I was saying, the basic. Akashi-kun can start by sending gifts to Furihata-kun as a gesture that you want to court him. If he accepts, you can proceed."

"And if he doesn't accept?" Midorima asked.

"It's from Akashi-kun, his life will be in danger if he doesn't." Satsuki replied.

Akashi thinks deeply. And then his eyes glinted.

"Kouki likes cats."

"So?" Aomine raised his brow. "Everyone likes cats."

"I disagree." Midorima objected.

"So?" Aomine raised his brow again. "Everyone likes to disagree."

"Burn." Kuroko deadpanned.

"As I said, Kouki likes cats. He would really appreciate that." Akashi gritted his teeth. This fools are making things complicated, not him.

"That's a great idea, Akashi-kun! Do you have something in mind for the breed?" Akashi nodded.

"Scottish Fold." Satsuki contemplated his suggestion before a light bulb appears on her head.

"I know where we can find one. One that will remind him of you every time he looks at it!"

"Hmm." Akashi stared at her. Satsuki continued, "Though they will have to go to Osaka."

Akashi stared at them. "You will, right?"

Kise opens his mouth. Akashi stared more intensely. Kise closes his mouth.

"You will, right?" Akashi smiles. Shivers run up and down their back, they all nodded.

"And after that Satsuki?"

"You'll be doing missions, Akashi-kun. Missions of courting."

Akashi nodded.

"And the first one will be?"

"Mission #1: Give him the sweetest thing you could give every time you see each other." Satsuki said.

And thus, Akashi's torture, I mean courting began.

**OoOoO**

So here he is. In front of the Seirin High's gate, just standing there with all the absolute pride he had within him.

Their school got some school break and he'll be free to do what he wants to in his free time.

"Hey, you, yes, you. Where's the gym?" He asked the boy who walked by him.

"I-it's t-t-that w-w-w-w-way!" The brown haired boy shouted before running away. Akashi raises his brow before shrugging. He can't help it if they're scared of him, he's absolute after all.

"Give him the sweetest thing I could give, eh?" Akashi looks around before calling a girl with long black hair.

"Yes?" The girl says shyly.

"What do you think is sweet enough to give to a man?" The girl's eyes widened before she blushes and covers her face. It's yaoi in action! Heaven! She internally screams.

"Kiss." She whispers.

"Come again?" Akashi's nose wrinkled, he hates it when people speak in a way that it does not even reach the human ear.

"A kiss! You should give him a kiss!"

"Thank you. Goodbye then." Akashi walked hastily towards the gym. "A kiss, huh? Perfect."

When he arrived, he saw the Seirin team practicing really hard. And oh there he is, Furihata Kouki.

"Kouki." He called out before ignoring all the stares towards him and proceeded to walk towards the basketball player he had called.

Furihata drops the ball he was about to shoot. Why is he here?

"Akashi-san…" Before the brunette could continue, Akashi kissed him on the lips.

Well, he knew he had succeeded at his first try. Akashi smirked.

Furihata's face blossomed to a fiery red tomato before he pushes the Rakuzan captain and running away.

Akashi tilted his head.

"Great job, Akashi-kun, you just successfully stolen Furi-kun's first kiss. For a _suitor_, you have some guts." There's that flat mocking tone again. Akashi's eye twitches.

"Don't think of going after him, Akashi-kun. You're only going to make him more awkward. Should have listened to Aomine then."

Akashi's face darkens.

**OoOoO**

Furihata hides behind the doors of their locker room. His face is still aflame, his heart still beating fast.

He gently touches his lips before screaming. "NO GIRL WOULD WANT TO MARRY ME NOW!"

**OoOoO**

(From: Tetsu-kun

To: Satsuki Momoi

Akashi-kun decided to give Furi-kun a kiss.

4:36)

Satsuki face-palmed.

(From: Satsuki Momoi

To: Tetsu-ku

Does he even know that he's still courting?

4:38)

(From: Tetsu-kun

To: Satsuki Momoi

Funny. Because he's trying to stab my teammates who had 'inappropriately' touched 'his Kouki'.

4:42)

Satsuki crossed Mission number one with an irritated face.

"Of all the things he could give… he's more difficult than Dai0chan than I thought…" Satsuki bit her lips.

[Data]

Status: 0%

Mistake: Akashi is also kind-off stupid when it comes to courting.

Need improvement: Common sense. Lots of it.

"Hello, Tetsu-kun? Can you convinced Riko to conduct a training camp?"

TBC

Hehehe. I find it funny that Akashi does not know how to court properly.

Review!


	3. Chapter 3

**TITLE: The Absolute Courting of Akashi Seijuurou**

**GENRE: Romance/Humour**

**PAIRINGs: AkaFuri, KagaKuro, AoSaku, KiseMatsu (Idecided that Kasamatsu-chan will be an uke! Hehehehe, if there's a tsundere seme then there should be a tsundere uke. No logic is no logic! XD), MuraMuro, MidoTaka and many more implied. :D**

**Chapter 3: Akashi's Absolute Pick Up Lines 1**

**Agenda: **Mission #2: Pick –up lines had never failed before

**Idea of: **Kise Ryouta

**Permitted by: GoM and Manager**

**OoOoO**

"_It seems that we are lacking of more training, Coach." Kuroko muttered besides the girl who almost has her heart run away from her._

"_Kuroko! Don't just pop out of there!" Kuroko raised his right eyebrow, that got really old sometimes. Aida furrowed her eyebrows as she observes her players before nodding._

"_You're right!" Kuroko smiled._

"_Well, I know a place…"_

**OoOoO**

Akashi Seijuurou doesn't like to repeat his words nor does he like others to repeat their words as if he didn't hear it the first time they said it. One word is enough for a wise man as they had often said.

But, he just can't help it when he asked this blond copycat he called his former teammate again.

"Are you really sure about this, Ryouta?" He looked at the smiling blond who keeps giving him thumbs up.

"I am sure of it, Akashicchi! When have I never been sure?"

The others looked at each other. "Ah… your whole life?" Aomine drawled.

"Aominecchi! You're so mean! Tell him, Momoicchi! Tell him he's mean." Kise pouted, crying his heart out. Momoi cringed at the clinging man.

"You're very mean, Dai-chan. Very, very mean. There, there, Kise-kun, there, there." Momoi attempted. But really, who the hell cares? She most certainly not! What she cares is that she's seeing yaoi in action! And you think she'll be the first one to cock-block them! Ha, newsflash! She was the one making them come true.

"Anyway, when will they arrive?" Murasakibara asked, eyes glazed with laziness.

"Any minute now, I think." Midorima carefully cleaned his nails showing that he does not even care at all if they arrive in those span of 'any minute now'.

"So, Shin-chan, where should I put this?" _This _that one Takao Kazunari is talking about is his dearest Shin-chan's gigantic wooden-carved crab statue.

Yes, because of Akashi's courting, the teams that took a Generation of Miracles member had been wrapped up in this _training camp _too.

Midorima didn't reply, Takao sighed.

"You can put it here, Takao-kun." Himuro pointed beside him where a marble bench was situated. Takao beamed. "Thank God! This thing is a shitload heavy."

"A-ano… Where's the rest room?" Sakurai asked timidly. When everyone looked at him, he flushed. "I'm sorry!"

Aomine tsk-ed at the others before glaring at those who dared look at his mushroom. "Stop apologizing, Ryou."

"I'm sorry!"

Aomine sighed before blaming everyone.

"It's your fault Kise."

And by everyone, he means Kise.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Aominecchi is so mean! Kasamatsucchi!"

A kick granted everyone silence.

**OoOoO**

He should have known that something was up when it was decided that they will suffer another training camp for two weeks somewhere in Kyoto. He should have known, really.

Two weeks did sound familiar to him. It rang a bell in his sensitive mind actually.

And now when they loaded off their bus at a camp styled especially for athletes three kilometres away from civilization, he now knew why.

"Kouki." He jumped. Of course he jumped. Who wouldn't? Akashi Seijuurou, the emperor of the court and probably; someday in the near future, the world, just called you just in time when your feet touched the ground while your only transportation back speed away from your sight along with all your hopes and dreams to ever live a normal life once again.

"A-Aka-Akashi-san…" Furihata's eyes widened with every step that Akashi took to shorten their distance. Everyone prayed for the boy's wellbeing.

"What have you done?" The redhead demanded, the brunette paled as he trembled.

"Wh-what d-do you mean? I have done nothing!" He cried. Akashi frowned and Furihata swore he saw the flashback of his life. Well, this is goodbye then.

"That's the point!" He roared.

"I'm sorry!" He wailed, his knees knocking together in fright.

"You have done nothing and yet…" Akashi took his Kouki's hand before placing it on the left side of his chest where his heart lies. "Yet you had still stolen my heart."

Momoi gushes with Aida before both dropping unconscious from the sheer cheesiness.

"Hey, Shin-chan…" Takao pursed his lips. Midorima looked at him, "What?"

"Why didn't you do that to me when you were courting me?"

The greenhead's glasses shone. "Because I never did court you. You only woke up one day and suddenly kissed me and declared yourself my official partner in every sense of the meaning."

"But still…" The owner of the Hawk Eye pouted.

"Isn't Akashi sweet, Furi-kun?" Kuroko dryly commented while perched on Kagami's shoulder.

"Hey, Kuroko, why don't you get down now?" Kagami grunted, his boyfriend is light as a feather but he was clinging on his head too hard.

"No." The bluenette replied briskly. Kagami whined, "Why?!"

"Because…" And their conversation ended at that when Kuroko clenched harder when Himuro waved at them. They got bad blood here and there because of the fact that Kagami still seems to care a lot about the raven haired player and that Murasakibara does too towards Kuroko.

Awkward, I know. We all know.

"Heh…" Kise giggled giddily. Kasamatsu looked at him weirdly.

"What are you giggling for?" The captain asked hesitantly, he really does not care at all.

Kise brightened. He looked around before bending to whisper, "That's my idea!"

You see, when Kasamatsu says that he really does not care at all, he really means that he really, really, really does not care at all. And so, he walked away hurriedly after his team leaving his dejected lover behind.

"Kasamatsucchi is so cute when he's being a tsundere!" Kise giggled. Yes, he giggled. He giggled after being abandoned.

"Kise-kun sure is masochist." Kuroko commented dryly again as they passed by the giggling fool.

"Kouki? What's wrong? You seem frozen." Akashi stared at the motionless Seirin player. He poked it idly before witnessing it crumbling away. "Eh?"

The ashes of Furihata assembled again to form a human being. Akashi stared more, "Kouki?"

Furihata blushes tenfold before rushing away. Akashi smirked, "He's so cute. Wait, I've forgotten to give him a kiss… Next time then."

He walked away, two unconscious girls forgotten.

**OoOoO**

"Eh? We're not sharing a cabin with the rest of our team?" Furihata asked when he entered the cabin his captain gave him.

Himuro puts down his book along with his reading glass. "It seems so."

Takao beamed at him while plopping down. "It was said to be draw lots each but I think it was a set up to bring all the cute little _ukes _in one place, ya know what I mean?"

"Cute little ukes my ass." Kasamatsu sat down on top of the bunk bed, "They're practically crawling on our _cute little _fingertips."

Kuroko chuckled which startled everyone. "What an interesting perspective, Kasamatsu-san."

Kasamatsu waved his hand. "Kasamatsu is fine. And, am I not right?"

Silence. Which also means that yes, Kasamatsu is right. Because hey, we can't deny that they're practically whipped _semes _wrapped around their palms.

"But!" Furihata intervened. "I'm not anyone's uke!"

"You will be." A paused for Kuroko. "Soon enough."

"I'm sorry for being late!" Guess that really completes the _ukes_.

"It's okay, Sakurai-kun." Kuroko smiled slightly, he rather likes him for no apparent reason but because of him being cute. He likes cute things a lot, it was proven when Aida made them looked at a picture of Papa but then instead of seeing the foreigner, it was a picture of a kitten.

"I'm sorry!" He keeps on bowing, fidgety as always.

The apologizing fiasco going on in their cabin was interrupted by a loud knock.

"Dinner's ready." A smooth voice said. When they open it was one of the handsome athletic butlers running around, Takao sighed dreamily and so did the others.

"Well, I'm full now that I saw you." He blurted, the handsome man probably in his early twenties blushed.

Someone cleared their throat. That someone was actually six people. Six overly jealous and possessive people.

"What did you just say, Takao." It's not a question rather it came out like a statement like Midorima planned it to be.

Takao stilled. Busted.

"Kaoru, please have a two-week break. Tell the other butlers as well." Gold and red eyes glinted. The butler stood erect before bowing and running off to tell the others that they're free for half a month.

"Kuroko, did you think the same as Takao?" Kagami glared at the running man. Kuroko smiled.

"And what if I had?" His smiled widened when his partner pulled him towards his arms before carrying him to the diner. Kagami is so cute, he thought.

The others then proceeded, each having their own partner tightly besides them.

"Oh, and Kouki?"

"Y-yes?"

Akashi kissed him.

Momoi screeches when she saw what the redhead just did. The idiot!

Furihata sat down dazedly after the kiss. He really can't deny the fact that Akashi is such a good kisser with the softest of lips.

The dinner was loud and chaotic, all thanks to Kagami and Aomine who started a food fight. Which is not really _that _kind of food fight.

Food fight in the sense that they're fighting over food by trying to outdone the other by eating. Then, Izuki just had to tell a lame joke about betting on them.

"You know that Aomine wouldn't last. Kagami-kun got a black hole for a stomach when he's hungry." Kuroko said, Sakurai looked at him and huffed.

"Aomine-kun has the size of the universe for a stomach when he's hungry."

The two glared at each other. Yes, they're trying to outdone the other by comparing their boyfriend to something ridiculous which indirectly lead to insulting the two eating monsters.

"Silence!" Akashi finally demanded when he was hit by a pineapple. He stood up and walks towards Furihata, face set on a solemn expression.

"Kouki, you're very important to me that's why I'm telling this first to you." He ignored the fact that they have an audience. Furihata looked at him curiously, left hand putting down his juice.

"What is it, Akashi-san?" The brunette stares directly on the emperor's orbs.

"I've got good news and bad news for you." Akashi said seriously that the others just can't give them privacy. "What do you want to hear first?"

Furihata gulped. "T-the bad news first please."

"I had been very sick lately. And the doctor said that my case is a hopeless case." Furihata gasped at what the former GoM captain just said.

Worried, the brunette's eyes watered. "Akashi-san…"

"Oh. Akashi got AIDS." Aomine snorted earning a loud smack from one pink haired manager. "OW!"

Then earning a loud apology from his boyfriend when said boyfriend smacked him in the head too for ruining the moment. Then he received another injury when a red scissor came flying towards him and made a gash on his cheeks.

Furihata cleared his throat and tried to act maturely for Akashi's sake. "And the good news?"

"There's a cure to it."

Furihata visibly brightened. "What is it? I'll help you!"

"You."

The brunette blinked. "Eh?"

Then as if being hit by the Titanic, the realization sunk in hard. Akashi is giving him another pick up line again. He blushes then a loud thud was heard.

"Heh…" Kise giggled, "It's my plan."

"No one cares." Kasamatsu gritted his teeth before rushing towards the commotion going on.

Furihata fainted.

"Akashi affected Furi-kun with his AIDS." Kuroko looked at Akashi from his seat on Kagami's lap.

"What?" Akashi snarled, he so does not have AIDS! He's still a virgin for goodness sake!

"Ah, you know, Akashi In Diehard Seduction or AIDS as Aomine-kun had just said."

**TBC**

I just graduated with honours days ago! :D! Congratulation to meeeeeeeeeeee! Hehehehehe. Told you I was working very hard to graduate with honours that's why I didn't have a time to update. Sorry! I'm off to college two months from now! And I'm off to my _dream university_!

Anyway, I rather like Kise's plan… ehehehehe.

REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4

**TITLE: The Absolute Courting of Akashi Seijuurou**

**GENRE: Romance/Humour**

**PAIRINGs: AkaFuri, KagaKuro, AoSaku, KiseMatsu (Idecided that Kasamatsu-chan will be anuke! Hehehehe, if there's a tsundereseme then there should be a tsundereuke. No logic is no logic! XD), MuraMuro, MidoTaka and many more implied. :D**

**Chapter 3: Akashi's Absolute Singing 2**

**Agenda: **Mission #3: Singing? I do it all the time to Ryou

**Idea of:**Aomine Daiki

**Permitted by: GoM and Manager with the slightest of doubts**

**OoOoO**

Akashi Seijuurou rarely had doubts when it comes to decisions. He was firm and absolute after all. But this.

This, however, made him doubt.

"Really? You sing?" One red brow quirked upward to show all the disbeliefs and doubts that he feels.

"Of course!" Aomine persisted, "No one can resist my awesome voice. Heck, the only one who can resist me is me!"

Kuroko raises his own brow.

"Ah, okay, that came out wrong. But, fuck, I can sing well more than your mothers can."

Kise snorted. "The last time you sang, _all _the _mothers _in the karaoke bar asked for you to be banned. Just stick to basketball, Aominecchi, just stick to basketball."

The dark bluenette glared at the blonde, "Who ask for your input, airhead? Oh, I know; the ghostly air in your head."

"Nice joke, Aomine-kun, nice joke." Kuroko drily said then paused before deciding to add, "But I like your joke more about how you can sing so well. Really, tell us more. Are you also in a contest called The Voice? Or the Japanese Idol?Or X-Factor?"

Aomine's confidence in his own self, for the very first time, slowly dwindled into nothing but a small bout of a flicker of a flame as one evil, evil shadow continued his tyrant insult on his beautiful, beautiful voice.

But! He told himself, he's a man! He should take it as such. So, he cleared his voice, puffed his chest, steeled his resolve and—

"Oh, Aomine-kun just cleared his throat, be prepared world, he's now ready to grant us with his _awesome_ voice!"

—he whimpered. He whimpered from the sheer mocking tone of Kuroko's flat, flat voice.

Midorima rarely felt pity. But who could not pity the idiot right now? Kuroko is on his monthly period and the narcissistic bloke was on the receiving end of the blue head's sarcastic escapade.

He always woe the day his period comes. They always, always suffered the most.

"Eh…." Murasakibara drawled lazily munching on his pocky. "I once heard Mine-chin sing…"

Aomine looked at him hopefully.

"He…" The violet haired boy paused as he takes a bite on his snack, "He had gotten better."

Aomine visibly brightened. "Hah! I told you so! I can do anything! I'M THE FUCKING MAN! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Everyone ignored him. Kuroko opened his mouth, "If you can do anything then why didn't you become a white man?"

"I…" He stuttered.

"If you're the 'fucking man', why aren't you 'fucking'?"

"I…" He whimpered again.

"Tetsuya…" Akashi treaded on thin ice, "Have you drink any vanilla shake today?"

Kuroko's blue eyes bore on him, with emotionless voice he replied, "Oh no. I haven't. Because someone decided that a place far from civilization where vanilla milkshakes are made so that he can trap the boy he seems fixated is a goddamn good idea. So no, no I haven't drunk any single drop of the only thing that captured my heart today."

Oh. So that explains it. He hadn't gotten any vanilla milkshake.

Aomine grew hysterical. Kise whimpered before rocking himself for comfort. While the rest decided it was best to slowly back out of the room and far away from the man whose aura seems to darken every passing second that he hadn't drank his favourite beverage.

"CALL BAKAGAMI!CALL BAKAGAMI!" Aomine shouted in panic, trembling as he did so. "CALL THE FUCKING IDIOT AND TAKE THE FUCKING DEMON OUT OF THE ROOM! HE'S GOING TO KILL US! HE'S GOING TO KILL US! HE'S COMING! DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE KIDS TO FEED! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

The door slammed open, and the rest swore that the angels were singing behind the red head. There, standing awkwardly just a foot away from the door is Kagami Taiga; the heavenly lights washing over him like he was a miracle on his own.

"Hey, Kuroko, I was just looking for you. I brought the vanilla milkshake that your mother told me to bring just in case. I know you're very grumpy right now but—"

Kagami was interrupted when a happy Kuroko pounced on him, well, pounced on the milkshake more like. The dark aura of the handsome boy was visibly clearing out.

"So…" Midorima looked around, "Singing, ha?"

Kuroko's eyes glinted but before he can make another comment, Akashi interfered.

"Yes, singing."

**OoOoO**

It is day two. Furihata muttered to himself, it's day two of the camp.

"Ten more days and I'm free." He mumbled as he stares at the ceiling.

"Au contraire." Himuro looked at him from his own bunk bed, the beautiful man sat up.

"It's four in the morning…" Takao groaned, rubbed his eyes from sleep and yawned loudly. "It's four in the morning and we're having _the talk_."

"I'm sorry it's my fault!" A cry came from one of the bottom part of the bunk bed. Kuroko shook his head, "It's not your fault for making the time four o'clock, silly."

"You really don't know this Generation of Miracles, do you?" Kasamatsu turned from his bed to face the others.

"Eh? What do you mean?" He tilted his head.

"Once you caught the attention of these men, you really can't find any way out from their _affections_." Himuro solemnly started.

"Wow, Himuro-kun, you make us sounds like obsessive freaks." Kuroko commented before thinking and added, "We are not obsessive freaks no matter what we do or say."

Furihata gulped, "Do you think I can survive this camp?"

"No." They all said in a heartbeat, no hesitance clear in their expression as if one way or another they had experienced what he had been experiencing now.

Furihata pouted. "Well, that's reassuring then."

"OW! Hey! That was my foot, thank you very much." A familiar voice growled. Sakurai's ears perked up before he tilted his head in confusion. "Why is Aomine-kun here?"

"Goddammit! Stop pulling my hair, Kise" Midorima snarled. Takao brightened, "Shin-chan is here! Shin-chan is here!"

"I did not!" Kise defended. Kasamatsu frowned, "And apparently, Kise too."

"Muro-chin!Muro-chin!" Murasakibara lazily chanted. Himuro got down on the floor and walked towards the balcony. The others followed his lead. "Atsushi?"

"Muro-chin!" The big baby smiled widely, Himuro felt his heart races a mile per second. He melted there and then. Kuroko snorted, "Whipped uke."

Kagami smiled at Kuroko too, face showing his cute sheepish expression that crawled its way to the bluenette's heart. Kuroko blushed before looking away, he shall not melt like the whipped Himuro lying on the floor who was happily muttering something about seeing a glimpse of heaven.

Akashi cleared his throat. "Kouki."

Furihata looked at him and he felt like one of those princesses where there was a scene between the prince on the ground and the princess on a high balcony. But that's absurd! The balcony they were on was just a meter and a half from the ground.

"I want to sing for you." The redhead said seriously and Furihata almost has his heart jumped out of him and go 'OMG. .DokiDokiDokiDoki.'.

But he held his heart down and put it right back on his chest and told it to shut up because he is not going to be gay and he is not going to fall in love with Akashi. So, he steeled his resolve, cleared his own throat—Kuroko opens his mouth before closing it—and looked back inside their room and said, "At four thirty in the morning?"

Yeah, Furihata, good reply. Awesome, really. Kuroko opens his mouth again, "Four thirty-two, actually."

"What's wrong with that?" He inquired, the brunette looked down on his feet.

"None really." He stuttered out.

"Good. Now listen to my singing in which I will dedicate my love to you." Akashi nodded towards the band he had scouted consisting of Kagami (bass), Aomine (drums), Murasakibara (keyboard), Kise (electric guitar), and Midorima (Saxophone).

The music started and Akashi looks at his dear Kouki.

"Oh, this thing called love, I just… I can't handle it. Oh, this thing called love, I must… get round to it. I ain't ready! Crazy little thing called love." Akashi winked at Kouki and the mousy boy felt his mouth go dry at the smooth voice of his crazily hot suitor.

Takao whistled, "Shin-chan sure is doing great with his saxophone."

"Oh, this thing called love, it cries (like a baby) in a cradle all night. It swings, it jives, and it shakes all over like a jellyfish. I kinda like it~ Crazy little called love~" Akashi paused and jumped down on their mini platform and walking towards their location and climbing right up the balcony, only the wooden rail separates him from his Kouki now.

"There goes my baby~" Akashi smiled endearingly, dangerously sexy that made Furihata just want to jump the hot man—NO! HE IS NOT GAY! HE IS NOT GAY! HE IS NOT GAY! "He knows how to rock n' roll. He drives me crazy~ He gives me hot n' cold fever then he lost me in a cool, cool sweat."

Furihata almost melted when the redhead caught his chin and pulls him close, near enough that their breaths mingled but far enough that their lips would not meet. The boy thought that he was going to kiss him when the Rakuzan captain suddenly jumped down the balcony.

"I gotta be cool, relax~" He adjusted sexily his tie before coyly looking at the boy, "Get hip. Get on my track's and take the backseat. Hitchhike~ And take a long, long ride on my motorbike until I'm ready~"

He walks back to their mini platform and sat on it, crossing his legs as he did so. "Crazy little thing called love~"

Midorima walks down the platform and climbed the stairs towards Takao before playing his own music. Takao blushes at the close proximity before sighing dreamily, "Shin-chan's serenading me!"

Akashi stood up and took the microphone standing on the centre, "I gotta be cool, relax~Get hip. Get on my track's and take the backseat. Hitchhike~ And take a long, long ride on my motorbike until I'm ready~"

He bended the microphone stand like he was bending a lady and looked at the heavily blushing boy again."Crazy little thing called love~"

He pointed at the boy before giving a rare smile, "There goes my baby~"

Akashi spins the stand until he was holding it away from him and he was standing again, head to the left and brushes his bangs away suavely before smirking saucily making all of them swoon. He decided to go back to Kouki and end his slight debonair teasing.

He walked towards the blushing boy, his steps absolute and firm, and his expression sexy in all sense of the meaning. Furihata places his hands on his face to hide how much he is loving his performance.

"He knows how to rock n' roll. He drives me crazy~ He gives me hot n' cold fever then he lost me in a cool, cool sweat." He pries the hands away and looks him straight in the eye. "I gotta be cool!"

Furihata stared right back. "Relax~"

Akashi intertwined their hands before spinning him around until his back was on his chest and his hands locked him in an embrace. "Get hip. Get on my track's and take the backseat. Hitchhike~ And take a long, long ride on my motorbike until I'm ready~"

He puts his mouth near Kouki's ear and smoothly whisper, "Crazy little called love~ Crazy little thing called love! Crazy little called love. Crazy little thing called love~ (called love) Crazy little thing called love~ . Crazy little thing called love~ (called love)Crazy little thing called love~ (called love)Crazy little thing called love~ (called love)"

Akashi smirked before laying a kiss on the side of Furihata'sneck, just a tad lower from his ear, "Crazy little called love~~~"

"I AM NOT GAY!" He shouted before blushing.

Akashi raised his brow, "Really?"

"Ah… ummm..eck.." Okay, great Furihata! Nice comeback, NOW YOU'RE SERIOUSLY GAY.

"I thought so." Akashi smirked before releasing the blushing boy and climbing back down the stairs. "Come on, Shintarou, stop making out with Kazunari."

"Kasamatsucchi!" Kise waved, Kasamatsu looked down at him like he was his servant. "What?"

"I'm going to sing for you too! Someday! At our wedding day maybe! I'm going to sing you a song! Promise!"

Kasamatsu blushes heavily before putting his face on his hands then realizing how unmanly it is and glared at his boyfriend while still sporting a massive blush and kicking the man who happily received the blow because 'This is Kasamatsucchi's way of showing his love for me! Tehee!'.

Masochist much?

"Ryou." Aomine looked at him seriously, "I'm going to sing for you too."

Sakurai averted his eyes, "Please don't."

"And I'm going to sing to you until all the roses I gave you all died." Aomine continued as if Sakurai didn't just say anything.

They're all fake! How can they die? Sakurai fretted before looking down to his feet, "They died already… Please don't. I'm sorry…"

"And I'm going to sing to you until all you can hear is my voice…" The dark man grinned brightly.

Sakurai continue to look down. He loves the guy, he really loves the guy. But since he got into the hobby of singing to him at the oddest hours of the day with his off-key tone, he really just wanted to just tell him to shut up like any of their teammates had wanted.

"Please don't. I'm sorry." He muttered before finally looking at Aomine who gave him his brightest smile, it made his heart skip a beat. He smiled softly back.

"Aomine-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"Just telling me how much you love me is enough for me to just forget the world and only listen to you." He looks back at the man with an earnest loving stare.

"But I'm still going to sing though." Aomine waved goodbye and Sakurai groaned. Damn, it did not work.

"Bye-bye, Muro-chin! I want to sing for you too but I want to eat you more than I want to sing for you!" Murasakibara childishly exclaimed, all underlying meaning showing on his eyes. Himuro blushed, "Atsushi!"

"Ah, Kuroko?" Kagami stared up on the blue eyes of his partner. Kuroko looks at him, "Yes?"

"I'm not really good on singing like Akashi and I don't have the confidence to prance my awful voice like Ahomine. But, I swear if you want me to sing you love song, I will try. For you."

Kuroko felt his heart go up his throat, his inside felt gooey on the sheer sweetness of his lover. "Kagami-kun, I don't need you to sing me love song for me to know that you love me. I only needed for you to stay by my side and…"

"And?" Kagami prodded.

"And ignore Himuro-kun." Kuroko said, flat voice showing his seriousness.

"Kuroko." Kagami gave him a scolding stare.

"I'm kidding." Again, no he's not. "I meant that you only needed to stay by my side and call my name in that special way you do when it comes to me."

Kagami stared at Kuroko and Kuroko stared back. He can't believe Kuroko said it all in his flattest tone, can't he be more loving than that?

Oh, but all his worries melted away when Kuroko gave him his own rare smile. "Goodnight, Kagami-kun."

"Goodnight, Kuroko." Then he walks away too while the blue haired boy walk inside their room leaving only Furihata alone.

He touches the skin where Akashi had left a kiss and felt the soft linger of the lips still tingles not only on that part but way up to his head and heart.

"What's wrong with me?" He whispered, "Am I falling for him? This early in the morning?"

But no one answered his questions, only the soft glow of the fading stars up the sky and the silence of the surrounding greeted his queries. He slid down and places his face on his arms that he wrapped around his knees.

"Am I really?"

**TBC…**

AH, FINISH! Anyway, I'm really sorry that this lack of humour… hehe, I just wanted a slightly sexy chapter with a singing Akashi and a sense of fluff! Lots of it. XD. Or lack of it, it seems.

And I was also very giddy when I read all your reviews! I was like OMG! They cared that I graduated! XD. And also, all the appreciations of the story! Thank you! I try to be funny, really. It seems it is working! ;) like how I made up AIDS. It just came to me while I was writing this. Weird things came to me while I was writing this story… weird, weird things…

And oh, you! Yes, you (Yuki Rivaille) who had asked for my permission to publish my story in Spanish, I hereby grant you my wonderful permission! ;) hahaha, no one had ever asked me to have my story publish in a different language that you just made my day, ! :D

And to all who reviewed () thank you! Here! Have some chocolate cookies and vanilla milkshake! :D

And please ignore all the probably wrong instruments used when Akashi was singing. I just really like the idea of them playing what they were playing. Especially Midorima! Saxophone and Midorima is equals to hot as hell. XD. I recommend you to listen Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Michael Bublé when Akashi starts singing! It's cooler like that. Ehehehe. I also made it 'he drives me crazy' because this is yaoi and just because I can. XD I'm really crazy.

Oh, before I forgot, I am officially going to award anyone who became my 50th reviewer and if the fic can make it, the 80thand the 100th reviewer and so on if it continues to gain popularity with a one shot of any pairing they want here in KnB. I was just really inspired by you that I needed to grant you all some gifts too, right? I love you guys!

Don't worry, Kouki is not going to still crack. ;)

And please leave your WONDERFUL REVIEW!


	5. Chapter 5

**TITLE: The Absolute Courting of Akashi Seijuurou**

**GENRE: Romance/Humour**

**PAIRINGs: AkaFuri, KagaKuro, AoSaku, KiseMatsu (Idecided that Kasamatsu-chan will be anuke! Hehehehe, if there's a tsundereseme then there should be a tsundereuke. No logic is no logic! XD), MuraMuro, MidoTaka and many more implied. :D**

**Chapter 5: Akashi's Absolute Poetry 3**

**Agenda: **Mission #4: Roses are red, violets are blue, Furi-kun likes poetry; don't you know?

**Idea of:** Kuroko Tetsuya

**Permitted by: GoM and Manager**

**OoOoO**

Akashi Seijuurou do not ever back down when he is challenged. No, what he does is accept it and prove to them why he is Akashi Seijuurou. But, why is it so hard writing a sweet poetry?

"Roses are red, violets are blue…" Akashi nodded his head at his start then continued, "You look very beautiful just like a… a…"

Akashi pondered before hesitantly writing, "A Kuroko?"

Someone cleared his throat; the redhead looked at the source only to see the unimpressed stare of the man he just mentioned.

"I'm really flattered, Akashi-kun, really I am." His tone of voice betrayed the words he just spoke, "But, is that all you got? And why do I felt like you were thinking of me as just no choice at all…"

"Well." He started, "You rhymed to blue."

"Midorima rhymed to queen of drama, but do I used him as a comparison?" Kuroko stared apathetically at Akashi who scowled at him. "No, I do not."

"Fine, I'm not going to use your name." The emperor's eyes glinted in anger, the bluenette merely shrugged. "It's not like your name is pretty or anything. Hmph."

Kuroko stood up and walked out the door with his last words lingering, "Well, it's not like your face sounded pretty either."

And with a loud slam, the shadow was gone. Who knew Kuroko was so sensitive when it came to his name?

"Tch." Akashi muttered before going back to his work. "Roses are red, violets are blue. There are millions out there, but I choose you."

"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" Aomine bursts out laughing like he usually does when he thinks something is stupid. Hundred times that he did, it was usually him who ended up looking one.

"What?" Akashi snapped, glaring at the dark teen. Aomine brushed the glare lazily.

"That's so stupid!" The Touo ace exclaimed making his former captain angrier.

"You're stupid." The redhead said without missing a beat.

"You sound like some Pokémon trainer! Pfft!" Aomine ignored Akashi's jab to his precious intelligence. Which everybody started to doubt if he even had one. "I choose you, pfft… WAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Akashi's eye twitched. "I'll choose you to be the next one I'll murder, you stupid son of a gangster."

Aomine paused from his laughter before getting up as well, "I'll choose to live…"

He walked out the door where Kuroko had left only to irritate the man writing poetry more when he burst out into loud obnoxious laughter alarming the people walking passed him if the great Aomine Daiki had finally snapped.

"Roses are red, violets are blue," The redhead gritted his teeth, "This is cliché…"

"And so are you." Midorima's eyes bore on his person making Akashi's eye twitched rapidly. He really wanted to stab someone right now, preferably the members of the Generation of Miracles with green, blue and indigo hair.

"I was thinking along the line 'but I fell for you'. I change my mind and just put something like 'but I'm going to kill you' dedicated to all of you." He calmly said, the green haired teen nodded his head before walking out the door.

You know what? Fuck this! He flips the table and walked out the room too with swag like the little badass emperor that he claimed he is.

Murasakibara pouted, "I hadn't even insulted Akachin's work yet…"

**OoOoO**

It was two hours later when he had calmed down and started writing once more. And another two passed by before he, the great and absolute emperor Akashi Seijuurou, is _beaming_ with joy. Yes, he was _beaming_.

"I think I should be a poet instead." He muttered to himself proudly, "I would be a world famous one. And _they_ would start _begging_ for _me_ to _write_ something for them."

Kuroko took a peek over Akashi's shoulder and he swore that he was ready to faint over the poem that Akashi had written.

He clasped a hand on Akashi's shoulder before giving the man thumbs up with a small smile. The redhead couldn't be more confident than the approval of the hard to please shadow of theirs.

"I'm off to go give this to Kouki." He said before getting up and searching for the aforementioned man.

Kuroko's smile disappeared and his thumbs up going down, he decided to call Furihata for safety measure.

"Hello, Kuroko?" The man greeted, Kuroko cleared his throat.

"I advised you to close the door and lock it tightly." He hung up without so much as explanation. It's for his friend's emotional and mental safety, he's going to need his wisdom.

The horror, he said to himself, the horror that was Akashi's poetry…

**OoOoO**

Kise was under a certain tree. Yes, it was that certain tree because he just had to sit under that tree. So, he sat there and he ponders.

And, when Kise does the pondering, no one could disturb him even if the sun turned blue and the sky collapse just in front of him. A pondering Kise is a serious Kise and that, my friend, only happens every three months or four years.

Kasamatsu walked by him and stopped when his boyfriend did not even bat his pretty lashes at him.

"What are you doing, Kise?" He treaded between heaven and earth or so Kise pondered. Yes, when he began to ponder, he became as poetic as that guy back in England who had been centuries dead by now also known as Shakespeare.

Kise sighed dramatically as if all his woes could be sighed away from his life.

"Ah, life," Kise began as he stares melodramatically towards the blue, blue sky. "Why do you do this to me?"

Kasamatsu decided to take a step back.

"Ah, sun" The blonde made a dramatic gesture towards the said star, "You are as bright as can be so why can't you take my woes away from me?"

The Kaijo captain cleared his throat but did not catch the attention of the poetic Kise in front of him. Because as I have mentioned before, Kise cannot be disturb as he ponders and wonders.

"Oh, the sky is as wide as the promises made under this tree!" Kise put his face on his hand and gave a sad sigh, "But, oh sad love, those promises became a tragedy."

"Oh my god…." Kasamatsu stared at his soon to be ex-boyfriend if the idiot continued his mourning over something like a lost love. What the hell? He'll become this blonde bastard's lost love if he uttered another poetic nonsense again.

"Why, my dear, why does our red string break so easily?" A lone tear slide down Kise's cheeks, "Oh, sad, sad love, I knew now that it was all a lie when you promised me eternity…"

Kise falls back to the tree and weeps for the world to all hear his pain over the imaginary love that broke his heart.

"Okay, then…." Kasamatsu slowly backed away from the crazy man, slowly as to not catch the man's attention anymore. But a cracking sound of a twig disturbs the silence that had befallen the place.

Kise looked at him and his face slowly brightened as if seeing an angel in disguise.

"An angel! An angel had come to rescue me from my misery!" He exclaimed, Kasamatsu's eye twitched.

"Oh my god… what had gotten myself into when I agree to become his boyfriend?"

And so, Kise continued to ponder out loud and let his heart out to the _angel that would save him from the misery was drowning because of his imaginary lying bitch of a lost love_.

**OoOoO**

Furihata was a man who likes poetry because his sister had drilled into his mind all that she knows about the subject before leaving abroad. He had kind of grown fond over the matter, the swaying words always move his heart.

And so, when Kuroko called him that he had better locked up without so much as an explanation, he was confused but not for long for Akashi arrived at his doorstep carrying a white paper with the smoothest of handwriting.

Furihata blinked. "And this is?"

Akashi blinked, "A poetry."

Furihata blinked again. "Okay…"

Akashi blinked too, "Read it."

Furihata blinked rapidly before nodding his head. "Okay…"

Akashi refuses to blink again, so he batted his eyelashes gracefully, "Out loud."

Furihata cleared his throat and began.

"It was fate, I know it was, I just knew! That brought me to a lovely you. Everyday my heart beats rapidly. Everyday my soul yearns for you longingly." Furihata's face blushes steadily.

"And so, I decided to not let you go, for you are mine because I love you. Yes, that's right, you caught my heart, now we are forever bound and shall never part." It was sweet and passionate and when Furihata peered down on Akashi, he felt that he might faint at how much speed that his heart is currently beating.

"And everyone who so much as try, to take you away and make me sigh. I shall behead and slaughter and kill until every last one lost their will…." Now, his heart is beating for other reasons, a shiver run through his spine. He looked at the nodding head of Akashi as if that punishment was worth giving.

'OMG! OMG! Akashi is crazy!" His thought runs continuously in his mind but he steeled his will and continued on.

"You are mine after all and I like for them to know, I will not let them live if they try again, yes, that I will do. For I am Akashi Seijuurou and I am the emperor since then and you, Furihata Kouki, shall be my beloved queen…" He doesn't know if he should be scared for everyone's life including his or be scared for the poetry world if Akashi even thinks of being a poet.

"So… you like it?" When did those heterochromatic eyes became bigger and cuter? Furihata asked himself.

Silence. Furihata can't muster himself to open his mouth and tell the captain the bleeding truth. The bleeding truth that he can't decipher if this is a poem or a death threat.

Furihata's mouth twitched into a trembling smile. Akashi's raises his brow.

"I love poetry…" He trailed off, not daring to add the 'but not this blasphemy.'

"So, you love it?" Akashi prodded.

"I… love poetry…" He repeated feeling his eyes watering. Akashi just ruined the beautiful image of poetry for him… he just… he just ruined it….

Akashi's eye twitched at the vague answer. "I asked once more, Kouki, do you love it?"

"I… love… poetry…" The tears slid down his cheeks before he broke off into a run to comfort himself with a last lingering shout, "I'm so sorry!"

Akashi stood at the place he has been standing for a while before he scratched his head with a smile, "My poem must be too beautiful for Kouki to give a proper answer. He just loves it. I knew I am fit to be a poet!"

And, so, the world suffers from the long and drawn out death threats, I mean poetry of one Akashi Seijuurou. Or so a certain blue haired 'fortune teller' says.

TBC

I love you guys for the reviews! Wow, this story is getting popular than what I originally thought it would! Thank you! Thank you! And I thought that it was better to give it to another writer to write this blasphemy I called my story. XD, I like the word blasphemy.

It was a running joke inside our class. Every time one of us was talking quite loudly, one would stand up and point at the talking boy/girl and shouts 'Blasphemy!' and proceeded to explain why.

One time I was the butt of the joke of that and I only stared at my guy classmate and told him, 'Your face is blasphemy'. And I was made the greatest joker of the world after that… or so Kuroko told me in my sleep.

Hahahahaha. Anyway! Review!


	6. Chapter 6

**TITLE: The Absolute Courting of Akashi Seijuurou**

**GENRE: Romance/Humour**

**PAIRINGs: AkaFuri, KagaKuro, AoSaku, KiseMatsu (Idecided that Kasamatsu-chan will be anuke! Hehehehe, if there's a tsundere seme then there should be a tsundere uke. No logic is no logic! XD), MuraMuro, MidoTaka and many more implied. :D**

**Chapter 6: Akashi's Absolute Cooking 4**

**Agenda: **Mission #4: A way to a man's heart is through his stomach… or it's just me, Akachin… I think it's just me…

**Idea of:** Murasakibara Atsushi

**Permitted by: GoM and Manager**

**OoOoO**

Akashi Seijuurou is a man with many talents. He could practically do anything—except poetry, the entire room and world silently intervened in his egoistic monologue—and he could do them effortlessly.

'_I like to see you try at poetry'_, Kuroko glared emotionlessly towards their redhead captain who was just oozing with pride. He have to comfort Furihata until the early morning since the boy is apparently scarred and keeps having nightmare about the damnation of the poetry world ruined by His Highness, Akashi Seijuurou.

Akashi batted his eyelashes when the shell of the egg refuses to crack. He frowned before pounding the stubborn egg on the table countless of times before growling in frustration.

"You dare refused to obey my command, egg? How dare you!" He scowled at the inanimate food before trying once more and when it didn't crack, he decided to break it the way he breaks people. "You don't deserve to be called an egg, egg. You are a stupid, useless, worthless piece of shit. You can't do anything right! All you have to do is crack, but apparently, you're such an imbecile that you can't even do what is expected for you to do. You don't even deserve to come out of your mother; you are a disgrace of the poultry industry! Useless! Idiotic! Rubbish! Shameful!"

The egg trembled and cracked, crying and weeping and doubting his worth all the while. Akashi smiled to himself; no one had the right to disobey him.

You know what, every egg in the room cracks after the suicidal one.

Murasakibara and the others stared at Akashi and at the egg that had gone through too much pressure and shame before ending its own life and cracking.

"You know, Akashi-kun, don't even try talking to me." Kuroko solemnly said before taking a step back from his deranged captain.

"Poor egg! Poor, poor egg!" Kise wailed, hugging the remains of the suicidal egg that Akashi had just broken down, "He got so much more for his future! He got dreams that will never become reality anymore! Dreams!"

"You know what, Kise, forget it. We're not friends anymore, don't you dare talk to me again. Don't approach me or even look at me. I don't even know why I even bothered to befriend all of you again." Kuroko muttered to Kise the first part before turning away from the wailing man and sitting on the sofa of Akashi's room. Kuroko swore they are all crazy except him of course.

"Ryou cracked eggs expertly." Aomine drily input and at the same time commented at how great a cook his boyfriend is, "He didn't have to traumatize the eggs just so he can use them as an ingredient."

"Yes, I'll be traumatizing your eggs next if you don't shut up, Daiki." Akashi glared at the tanned player and proceeded to cut carrots. Wait, what?

"Why are you cutting carrots, Akashi?" Midorima asked and turned to throw a glare at Aomine who snickered at him.

"Aw, Akashi, don't cut Midorima! You're hurting him!" A knife soared through the air and embedded itself to the wall just barely missing Aomine's shoulder.

"Fuck! What was that for, you ass shit carrot man?" He cursed, Midorima ignored him.

"Again, why are you cutting carrots, Akashi?" Isn't he making a cake? Maybe he is making a carrot cake? Then why the hell is he opening up a can of corn? That's vanilla, right? And that's cheese… and that's olive oil… and that's peanut… and he's sure that's noodles…

Midorima's face turned green when Akashi dumped them all on the mixing bowl where the eggs are.

That's an onion for goodness sake! He fainted at the disgusting concoction the man was trying to pass as cake.

Murasakibara's eyes widen at the spectacle he is seeing. His irises dilated when Akashi put vinegar and soy sauce at the mix. His mouth formed an 'o' shape when a bitter gourd was added and then it hung open when an ounce of spicy ketchup was dumped on it.

'_This is utter blasphemy…' _Murasakibara thought to himself. _'Akachin is sullying not only the poetry world; he is also ruining the food industry as well…'_

The mix glowed purple then red the blue then yellow and green and indigo before bursting in a disgusting colour of black.

Akashi smiled to himself, his cake is perfect!

He didn't take any lesson and this is the first time he ever cooks in his life but everything is turning out pretty well in his opinion.

"Fire in the hole!" Murasakibara suddenly shouted making everyone looked at him and diving down just in time to save themselves.

Akashi's _perfect_ cake exploded. It exploded in front of Akashi's face, Kise gulped; the cake is _so_ dead.

The Rakuzan captain wiped the mess from his face calmly before tasting it, his face lighted up in delight.

"Delicious." He exclaimed before adding as if it's very important to add, "I'm a genius! Now, I only have to be careful not to let it explode."

Akashi looked at their violet haired baby, "Atsushi."

"Yes, Akachin?" Murasakibara raised a brow and lazily answered.

"Help me in the kitchen. I want this to be the most extravagant cake that Kouki had ever tasted since Kouki deserve only the best so I shall give him the best." Akashi painted a line on his face that was halfway to a smile and the other half as a smirk, all in all making him look crazier and scarier than usual.

Murasakibara gulped and wondered if it's okay to just suddenly drop dead rather than helping Akashi in his mission of destroying the only thing he ever loved, err, one of the two things he ever loved if his Muro-chin was put to consideration.

Murasakibara, in all his childish giant glory, took a shaky step towards the man who demanded for him to help. He looked back to his friends for aid.

Kuroko averted his eyes away, Kise gave him uncertain thumbs up while Aomine snickered and pointed at him for his misfortune and all the while Midorima suddenly found a weird fascination on the red scissors stained in what seem like spilled ketchup on Akashi's desk.

Murasakibara cracked them a sarcastic childish pout, "Wow, minna, I just wanted to crush you all right this instant."

The others pretended that they did not hear him and continued to do what they had previously did, saving their ass from Akashi.

The violet haired giant took a deep breath and like it will be the last time he'll ever walk into the kitchen, he looked at them again briefly.

"If I ever survive this, I'll crush you. If I didn't, I'll haunt you then crush you. And tell Muro-chin, I was the one who destroyed his precious lotion the other day, it was an accident… makes sure to add that…"

Then he was off.

**OoOoO**

Murasakibara does not know if he should be angry because of the utter stubbornness and uselessness of his former captain in the kitchen or he should just wing it and just jump off the window next to him, they're in the third floor of the main headquarters, right? He should be fine with his height, he could live another day and get out with minor scratches and maybe a broken leg.

The thought is very tempting every second that passes by when he heard a bubble popping from a pot behind him. Why do they need the pot again? They're making cake, right?

"Akachin." He deadpanned, "The water is burning."

"It is supposed to do that, Atsushi." Akashi replied in all seriousness while dumping a box of cereal to the pot.

"Akachin…" The baby giant looked oddly at the pot before turning his attention to his left, "The fire…"

"What about the fire?" Akashi answered distractedly as he stirred his creation.

"The fire is burning itself. It's black and smoky, Akachin." Murasakibara distanced himself from the other pot with the fire on top. _Why is Akachin cooking fire? Just, why?_

Akashi looked at Murasakibara like he is a big idiot before turning to what seems like the current fascination of his former teammate.

_I can't believe that fire can be cooked, I must tell Muro-chin about it… _Violet eyes grew wide in interest when Akashi stirred the fire.

"I should probably mix them now." Akashi took the mixing bowl and put all the concoction from the pots he just used, yes, including the fire.

Frigging, how? Even the logic of this world cannot explain.

Akashi stirred and mixed, "One, two, three, mix and stir… put the head in and strike fear… four and five, the devil is near… now is six, and what we have here?"

A shiver run down Murasakibara, including those who were peering behind a table a good distance away from the evilness of Akashi's newfound _skill_.

"I don't know if it's just me but I felt like Akashi-kun is summoning the devil…" Kuroko commented, and the others nodded.

"Or he's just calling himself since he's practically the devil himself." Aomine grumbled and again, the others nodded their heads in agreement.

"Pick a stone and defile a bone, rid a man of his soul and throne… put a golden crown on my head, make an empire of sullied creeds…" Akashi hummed. Murasakibara felt his eyes water in fright, what has he gotten himself into?

The food bubbled and wheezed in front of them, it continued to make little explosions when Murasakibara finally snapped along with the ticking bomb that was Akashi's so called cake.

_This torture had gone long enough!_

The giant throw his hands up in defeat and shouts in frustration before glaring at the startled man a few feet away from him.

"You!" He growled in frustration, "You! Go to a corner. Now!"

"What?" Akashi's eyebrow twitched. "You dare order me, you giant oa—"

"I don't care anymore if you're Akashi Seijuurou or a son of some mafia or if your grandpa is some kind of a king or if you're an emperor in that crazy little shit head of yours!" Murasakibara cut the man, eyes spinning in rage. "You ruined _food _for me. Do you know how much I love them? More than your mother loves you! Dammit. Now, go to a corner and think of what you did."

"You don't know who you're talking to!" Akashi protested under the glare of his supposed to be loyal friend.

"Oh, I know who I am talking to, alright." He growled when the captain failed to follow his command. "You're the man who is going to be crushed soon if you don't move to a little corner and think of what you have done to me and to the entire world in three seconds, you midget sized captain that burns water!"

"How dare you! Are you telling me that I can't cook?" Akashi took a cautious step back from the manic stare of the baby of Generation of Miracles, ignoring the jab on his height for once.

"No. I am telling you that you made a sacrilege of what was supposed to be bliss. Heck, I don't even know what sacrilege means but it sure does sounds like the appropriate word to use in this kind of situation." Murasakibara took a step closer to Akashi, "Now, scram!"

Akashi huffed and held his head high before walking towards a corner and sulked. He sulked like the little emperor that he really is.

Murasakibara took a heavy breath before tearing up and running out to find comfort within Himuro's warm arms. The horror, the giant cried, the horror that was Akashi's cake.

"Muro-chin!" He shouted before disappearing from their sight.

"I can't believe Murasakiabaracchi just snapped." Kise looked at the man in the corner who was darkly muttering to himself.

"I can't believe Akashi even tried cooking." Aomine stared at the mess of the built in kitchen of Akashi's room.

"I can't believe that Akashi-kun had just cooked fire…" Kuroko thought of every logic possible to explain the phenomenon.

"I can't believe that after the explosion, the cake is still formed…" Midorima poked the cake with a stick and he swore it just moved!

Akashi looked at him before getting up from the corner.

"You can't do that, Akashicchi! Murasakibaracchi will be angrier!" Kise protested and the redhead glared at the blonde.

"Yes, Akashi-kun, you won't want that, right? I mean, you did just destroyed the love of his life, err, second love of his life." Kuroko looked at him with blank eyes, "Like how you ruined poetry."

"I did not ruin _food_, Tetsuya. And I have you know that Kouki loves my poems." Akashi stuck his nose up the air in pride of his own skill. His newfound skills that everyone fears to see, feel, smell, touch and if God forbid, _taste._

Kuroko stared in deadly seriousness before opening his mouth, "Right… Furi-kun loves your poetry so much that he had nightmares since you showed him your _poem._"

Akashi did not replied and just proceeded to take his cake and slamming his door when he walked out.

"Akashi sucks at cooking." Aomine concluded, the others nodded. And prayed for the safety of Furihata.

**OoOoO**

Furihata looked at the man in front of his door and decided to slam it shut before he was scarred again.

"Kouki." Akashi said in a light but dangerous tone, "Open the door."

"Do you have any poems?" Furihata asked in fright, Akashi sighed.

"No. But if you want one, I can make you right now." The captain said and knocked again. "Now, open up, Kouki."

The said boy opened the door at his own risk and ignored the alarms going off in his head. Akashi got no poems so he was safe or so he thought.

Akashi presented him a bubbly purple, err, red… wait, no, it's blue or indigo… yellow? Ah, rainbow cake. It is… a… cake… right?

"What's that thing?" Furihata grew dubious, eyes widening at the odd feeling he got from the pastry.

"It's a cake." Akashi simply said.

Furihata's eyebrow rose so high that it might fly away from his face.

"Akashi-san, may I ask you what you are doing to me?" The Seirin player asked, voice serious and solemn.

"I'm courting you, Kouki, can't you get the drift?" The Rakuzan captain's tone was firm that the boy almost believes him. Almost.

"With a cake." Furihata paused. "That move. You're courting me with a cake that just moved, Akashi-san. Now, tell me, are you trying to court me or are you trying to kill me?"

Akashi sighed, "Kouki, I poured all my love to you here in this cake!"

"Your love must be malicious and dangerous." Furihata in a spur of sarcasm and confidence shoot Akashi down in a heartbeat.

Akashi's face darkened before his face fell, his cheeks reddening in both anger and embarrassment.

"Oh. So you don't like it…" The redhead said sadly that made the brunette in front of him looked at him so suddenly that it was a surprise he didn't get a whiplash.

"Akashi-san?" Furihata treaded on thin ice. Akashi tightened his hold on the dangerous poison he was insisting that it's a cake.

"I'm sorry to bother you then." The captain paused before continuing, "I know that I'm not as good a cook as Atsushi or Daiki's boyfriend but… I worked so hard for this because I thought you would like it."

Okay, now he's just guilt tripping him.

Oh, guilt tripping or not, he felt his heart twist at the vulnerable expression that Akashi was painting his face with.

"I…" Furihata hesitated before taking the cake from his suitor and taking a hold of Akashi's wrist and dragging him towards the group behind their cabin. "… I'll eat it with everyone, Akashi-san."

Of course, he'll not only endanger himself but also others, he suffers and so would they. Furihata thought in determination, he would not be the only one to die today.

"Seijuurou." Furihata looked at Akashi, "Call me Seijuurou, Kouki."

"Why?" Akashi looked him straight in the eyes when he asked the question.

"Because it's not pretty hearing you call me by my last name when you're going to be an Akashi soon."

Okay, Akashi is officially creeping him out. He wonders how much is a restraining order would cost.

"Everyone!" Furihata greeted, smile too large and far too sweet that his brand new friends grew wary.

When their eyes landed on Akashi, they grew even more wary and scared.

"Furihata, what utter disgusting waste are you holding?" Takao crinkled his nose at the hideous sight that his Seirin friend was holding.

"This 'utter disgusting waste' that I am holding is Aka—Seijuurou's cake." Furihata proudly laid it in front of them.

"I mean, it sure looks so delicious that I just couldn't express myself in holy flattery that I turned to hard-core commentary. HAHAHAHA!" Takao forced a laugh and hid behind Sakurai when he felt the sharp daggers stabbing him from the redhead's stare, and isn't that a knife he is holding?

"I'm sorry!" Sakurai exclaimed suddenly before pointing at the moving thing and oh gawd, that thing just winked at him! It freaking winked at him! "That's so…"

The knife that Akashi held glinted menacingly.

"That's so delightful to look at that I'm so sorry that I'm even alive right now." Sakurai felt that he really is truly sorry for being alive.

"Where's Himuro-kun?" Furihata tilted his head, "And Kuroko? And Kasamatsu-sempai?"

"The bastards," Takao emphasized his hate for them right now for not being here with them for this torture that they would inevitably go through, "had gone off to god knows where."

"Okay then. Would you like some slice, Takao-kun? Sakurai-kun?" Furihata's smile grew bigger and sweeter, his eyes frighteningly bright and sadistic. The said boys gulped, why is Furihata doing this to them?!

"I just ate, you see. I ate so much that I might puke." Takao tried, he really did but when he glanced at Akashi who was apathetically doing tricks with the sharp blade, he just died inside. "I mean, I'll have one."

"Sakurai-kun, what about you?" Furihata took the knife from Akashi and in one swift motion, cut the moving bubbly cake into slices.

"I…" Sakurai's eyes shifted everywhere, "…I'm on my time of the month…"

Silence. Complete and utter silence befalls them as the shifty shooter of Touo covers his red face with his hands.

"Uh huh." Takao filled the silence, "And I'm pregnant with Midorima's first child."

A thud resounded in the silent area.

"You are?" Midorima gasped. Takao seriously considered nodding his head before glancing at the elated look of his lover and seriously nodded his head vigorously.

"How many months?" Now, Takao is just seriously considering bashing his head. Isn't his Shin-chan supposed to be smart? Well, might as well take this as an escape route.

"Two months, Shin-chan." Silver-blues looked passionately towards the happy greens of his lover. They're now in their own world and Takao smiled so happily that he might as well be pregnant in reality. The little bubble of his happiness right now felt like he just saw heaven.

"You know that you can't escape from eating Seijuurou's cake, right Takao?" Then comes hell to his life in the form of narrowed voice of Furihata.

"Damn." He cursed under his breath. "Well, Shin-chan is here so he might as well eat too."

Because like hell he would die without Shin-chan dying as well, Takao evilly thought.

"Aomine-kun says he wanted my share since he is such a great boyfriend and all and I'm so sorry!" Sakurai exclaimed before pulling his boyfriend to sit beside him and offering an apologetic smile.

"Oh, so you're just going to throw me under the bus, Ryou?" Aomine felt betrayed before being swayed when his Ryou began giving him a watery smile and wobbly pair of eyes. "Fine."

He is so whipped and now, he's going to die. He shouldn't have followed Midorima when he decided to visit this cabin. Or, he should have dragged Kise along with him and his boyfriend.

They're probably sullying a desk this very moment that he is thinking.

Sakurai sighed in relief and whispered, "I'm safe."

Takao looked at his friend with betrayed eyes and mouthed, "Damn you, Sakurai!"

"I'm sorry!" Sakurai averted his eyes.

Furihata put down a plate in front of his favourite friend after handing everyone with their slice, Sakurai looked up in fright.

"Eat." Furihata stressed. The mousy boy looked around in panic but felt thoroughly cornered. He looked at his slice and almost fainted when it grinned at him. His slice of cake freaking _grinned _at him.

Akashi smiled happily when everyone including his Kouki simultaneously raised their fork and took a life-changing bite of their slice.

It was the biggest mistake they ever made in their life. The final regret they'll ever have.

Akashi's eyes widened at the sight of his comrades fainting over his cake. He smiled in glee.

"My cake sure was delicious that they seem to have just fainted in pure bliss."

Foams formed out of Aomine's mouth.

TBC

:D, hi hi! Thanks for all the reviews that I had gotten from the last chapter! I hope this will do for all of my readers! I love you guys! Mwuah! Mwuah! XD

I should have named this as The Absolute Killing Intent of Akashi Seijuurou! Wahahahahahaha, I am so weird it hurts! XD

I'm gonna shut up now…. XD

Review!


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